this or that? is it fun or sad? is it him or someone else? is this thought or just habit? is this rude or soft? is this a rush or does it make sense? is it waiting for right or is it longing for undeserved?  is it fast or too slow? too much or too less?


so many things to consider....so many mouths to shut...so many timelines to meet...so many signs to read...so many paths to converge...so many fellow travelers...all waiting for their own ride home...


here he is! running faster than ever... time slowing down as he moves...


doing what he does best.... move forward..clueless of the next stop!

Confused

all the noises are gone,
nothing seems interesting,
everything stationary static,
world around keeps revolving,
he stands there numb,
looking for a target to reach,
all confused,dumfounded,
trying to pin point the thing that nags,
everything looks in place,
yet he sits there and weeps!

Discovery

going to places never visited
seeing things never seen
doing acts never done
finding the unknown
striving to solve the  puzzle
searching to find a way through
trying to live upto expectation
finding whats lies within
pursuing discovery most important

Enough

what is enough......what is the limit....where to stop trying.....is it fair to give up your current target for something more subtle...more achievable..more practical......is going soft on yourself correct?......does it means that you have lost  when you decide to take a more sensible decision?...or is it simply accepting defeat ? doesn't even thinking of losing out makes you a loser? is losing not wrong?  can at anytime losing seem correct? is it possible that even losing doesn't make you a loser?when do we stop trying to not to be termed loser even after losing...what is the limit?what is enough?

NEED

Do we always need the things we desparately seek? what can be a better driving force... need or desire? Can the two intersect? can the need become so fanciful as a desire OR desire become so neccessary as a need?

Actions

sometimes i think about what do  i do most of the times....more specifically......why i do things that i do.....as correctly pointed out by my friend...."why" is always harder to answer than "what" or "how".....
so lets delve into the question......why do we do what we do....

is it.....
to achieve a goal???.to meet some requirements???
sleep so that we can have a refreshing day ahead...and again toil the next day with utter honesty so that we can have a peaceful sleep in night.....
doesnt make sense ..does it???


or is it ....
just to fit in the definiton...not ot look odd in the circumstances...... like not talking to a girl the same way as a boy...changing tones and language ...afraid of what everyone might think.....afraid of what she might think.....of what that might make you unfit as a friend for her...as it is odd.....doesnt fit in the definitions, the rules....
again no sense in this....


or is it .....
to make ouselves happy .....chat with friends all day ...... work hard for that sense of achievement..... go home and not inform parents beforehand , just to see mum's eyes twinkled and papa gasping for words as to find what to say for sometime.... to indulge a close friend in all her demands.... sending surprise gifts....

this does make sense....but is this reason enuf....do things to make yourself happy?

Average

Sometimes i think about my mood......and try to figure out....what is the correct description.......and the more i think.....the more awful it gets....its like there is nothing wrong.....and yet everything is wrong.... like there is nothing to hold things together.....like it’s going to crumble ..... it just isn’t complete....it misses something which i am not able to figure out..... something that would make me happy....something that will complete me ..... i just feel lost..... with no companions ...no wins to cherish.... with nothing to proud of ....everything ordinary....everything routine..... nothing remotely different....just ordinary...average.....not worthy of the change...it has just been a start and i find myself already tired in this journey.....have already lost to myself...with no purpose....no goals defined.....nothing to look forward to.....just blank.... need a change......need a goal...need something to fight for.....fight from myself...and the self i have grown into.....